What are the differences between happy people and unhappy people? Of course, it should be very obvious:happy people are happy while unhappy people are unhappy, right? Well, that is correct.But, we want to know what happy people do differently, so I have put together a list of things that happy people do differently than unhappy people.
1. LOVE VS. FEAR
Well, I can tell you for sure that those
people who are really happy, fear less and love a lot
more. They see each moment, each challenge, each person
as an opportunity to discover more about themselves and the world around them.
as an opportunity to discover more about themselves and the world around them.
2. ACCEPTANCE VS.
RESISTANCE
Happy
people understand that you can’t really change a situation by resisting it, but
you can definitely change it by accepting that it is there and by understanding
that there might be a reason for its existence.
When something unpleasant happens to them, they don’t try to
fight it (they know that this will make the situation even worse),
but they ask themselves questions like: What can I learn from this? How can I make this better? And
then they focus on the positive, rather than on the negative.
They always seem to see the glass half full, no matter what happens to
them.
3. FORGIVENESS VS. UNFORGIVENESS
Really happy people know that it’s not healthy to hold on to
anger. They choose to forgive and forget, understanding
that forgiveness is a gift they give to themselves first
and foremost.
Holding on to anger is like
grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the
one who gets burned. ~Buddha
4. TRUST VS. DOUBT
They trust themselves and they trust the people around
them. Whether they are talking to the cleaning lady or the C.E.O. of
a billion-dollar company, somehow they always seem make the person they
are interacting with feel that there is something unique and special about
them. They understand that beliefs are self-fulfilling
prophecies.
Because of that, they make sure to treat everyone with
love, dignity and respect, and make no distinction between age, sex,
social status, color, religion or race. These are the great men that Mark Twain
was talking about: “Keep
away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do
that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”
5. MEANING VS. AMBITION
They do the things they do because of the meaning it brings into
their lives and because it gives their lives a sense of purpose. They
understand that “Doing
what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life” as Wayne
Dyer says.
And
they care more about living a life full of meaningthan what, in our
modern society we would call, living a successful life. The irony here is
that most of the time they get both success and meaning because they
choose to focus on doing the things they love the most and they always pursue
their heart‘s desires. They are not motivated by money; they want to make
a difference in the lives of those around them and in the world.
6. PRAISING VS. CRITICIZING
Happy people would probably agree with Carl’s Jung theory on resistance: “What
you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” They don’t
criticize the absence of the behavior they want to reinforce, rather, they
know by praising the person and the behavior they wish to
reinforce (even if it’s not often), they will actually
encourage the positive behavior.
When
a parent wants to make sure their 7 year old boy will learn to always put the
toys back in the box after he’s done playing with them, they make sure not to
focus on the many times the child didn’t do it, criticizing him and
his behavior, but every time the little boy does put the toys back, the
parent praises him and his behavior and that is exactly
how they reinforce the positive behavior, and in the end get the
wanted results.
7. CHALLENGES VS. PROBLEMS
Happy
people will see problems as challenges, as opportunities to
explore new ways of doing things, expressing their gratitude for them,
understanding that underneath them all lay many opportunities that will allow
them to expand and to grow.
8. SELFLESSNESS VS, SELFISHNESS
They do what they do not for themselves, but for the good of
others, making sure that they bring meaning, empowerment and
happiness to the lives of many. They look for ways to give and to
share the best of themselves with the world and to make other people
happy.
Before giving, the mind of the
giver is happy; while giving, the mind of the giver is made peaceful; and
having given, the mind of the giver is uplifted. ~Buddha
9. ABUNDANCE VS. LACK/ POVERTY
They have an abundant mindset, living a balanced life,
achieving abundance in all areas of life.
10. DREAMING BIG VS. BEING REALISTIC
These people don’t really care about being realistic.
They love and dare to dream big, they always listen to their heart
and intuition and the greatness of their accomplishments scares many
of us.
Dream no small dreams for they
have no power to move the hearts of men. ~Goethe
11. KINDNESS VS. CRUELTY
They are kind to themselves and others and they understand
the power of self-love, self-forgiveness and self-acceptance.
12. GRATITUDE VS. INGRATITUDE
No matter where they look, no matter where they are or who they
are with, they have the capacity to see beauty where most of us would
only see ugliness, opportunities where most of us would only see
struggles, abundance where most of us would only see lack and they express
their gratitude for all of it.
13. PRESENCE/ ENGAGEMENT VS. DISENGAGEMENT
They know how to live in the present moment, appreciating what
they have and where they are, while still dreaming big dreams about
the future.
When you are present, you can
allow the mind to be as it is without getting entangled in it. The mind in
itself is a wonderful tool. Dysfunction sets in when you seek yourself in it
and mistake it for who you are. ~Eckhart
Tolle
14. POSITIVITY VS. NEGATIVITY
No matter what happens to them, they always keep a positive
perspective on everything and by doing so, they tend irritate a lot of
negative and “realistic” people.
15. TAKING RESPONSIBILITY VS. BLAMING
They take full ownership over their lives and they rarely
use excuses. Happy people understand that the moment you choose to blame some
outside force for whatever is happening to you, you are in fact giving all your
power away. They choose to keep their power and take responsibility for
everything that happens to them.
Via PurposeFairy