Family isn’t always blood. They’re the people in your life
who appreciate having you in theirs – the ones who encourage you to improve in
healthy and exciting ways, and who not only embrace who you are now, but also
embrace and embody who you want to be. These people – your real family –
are the ones who truly matter.
Here
are twenty tips to help you find and foster these special relationships.
1. FREE YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVE
PEOPLE.
Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and
likeminded. Relationships should help you, not hurt you. Surround
yourself with people who reflect the person you want to be. Choose
friends who you are proud to know, people you admire, who love and respect you
– people who make your day a little brighter simply by being in it. Life
is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.
When you free yourself from negative people, you free yourself to be YOU – and
being YOU is the only way to truly live.
2. LET GO OF THOSE WHO ARE
ALREADY GONE.
The sad truth is that there are some people who will only be
there for you as long as you have something they need. When you no longer
serve a purpose to them, they will leave. The good news is, if you tough
it out, you’ll eventually weed these people out of your life and be left with
some great people you can count on. We rarely lose friends and lovers, we
just gradually figure out who our real ones are. So when people walk away
from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anyone who
leaves you. It doesn’t mean they are bad people; it just means that their
part in your story is over.
3. GIVE PEOPLE YOU DON’T KNOW A
FAIR CHANCE.
When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone
has a story. Everyone hasgone through something that has changed them,
and forced them to grow. Every passing face on the street represents a
story every bit as compelling and complicated as yours. We meet no
ordinary people in our lives. If you give them a chance, everyone has
something amazing to offer. So appreciate the possibility of new
relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work.
Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are
entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a
challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life
forever.
4. SHOW EVERYONE KINDNESS AND
RESPECT.
Treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are
rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are. There are
no boundaries or classes that define a group of people that deserve to be
respected. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give
to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your
baby brother. People will notice your kindness.
5. ACCEPT PEOPLE JUST THE WAY
THEY ARE.
In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway, and it’s
rude to try. So save yourself from needless stress. Instead of
trying to change others, give them your support and lead by example.
6. ENCOURAGE OTHERS AND CHEER FOR
THEM.
Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are
leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be
happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories.
Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around,
and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
7. BE YOUR IMPERFECTLY PERFECT
SELF.
In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone
else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self. And when
they laugh at you for being different, laugh back at them for being the
same. Spend more time with those who make you smile and less time with
those who you feel pressured to impress. Be your imperfectly perfect self
around them. We are not perfect for everyone, we are only perfect for
those select few people that really take the time to get to know us and love us
for who we really are. And to those select few, being our imperfectly
perfect self is what they love about us.
8. FORGIVE PEOPLE AND MOVE
FORWARD.
Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up
hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying,
“What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what
you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the
remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what
happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and
instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
Remember, the less time you spend hating the people who hurt you, the more time
you’ll have to love the people who love you.
9. DO LITTLE THINGS EVERY DAY FOR
OTHERS.
Sometimes those little things occupy the biggest part
of their hearts. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be
everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and
treat them like royalty.
10. PAY ATTENTION TO WHO YOUR REAL
FRIENDS ARE.
As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have more
friends and more important to have real ones. Remember, life is kind of
like a party. You invite a lot of people, some leave early, some stay all
night, some laugh with you, some laugh at you, and some show up really
late. But in the end, after the fun, there are a few who stay to help you
clean up the mess. And most of the time, they aren’t even the ones who
made the mess. These people are your real friends in life. They are
the ones who matter most.
11. ALWAYS BE LOYAL.
True love and real friendship aren’t about being inseparable.
These relationships are about two people being true to each other even when
they are separated. When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is
never an option, but a priority. Loyalty is everything.
12. STAY IN BETTER TOUCH WITH PEOPLE
WHO MATTER TO YOU.
In human relationships distance is not measured in miles, but in
affection. Two people can be right next to each other, yet miles
apart. So don’t ignore someone you care about, because lack of concern
hurts more than angry words. Stay in touch with those who matter to
you. Not because it’s convenient, but because they’re worth the extra
effort. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a
number of friends you can be certain of. Paying attention to these people
is a priority.
13. KEEP YOUR PROMISES AND TELL THE
TRUTH.
If you say you’re going to do something, DO IT! If you say
you’re going to be somewhere, BE THERE! If you say you feel something,
MEAN IT! If you can’t, won’t, and don’t, then DON’T LIE. It’s
always better to tell people the truth up front. Don’t play
games with people’s heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths and
expect people to trust you when the full truth comes out; half-truths are no
better than lies. Remember, love and friendship don’t hurt. Lying,
cheating and screwing with people’s feelings and emotions hurts. Never
mess with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of yours. Always
be open and honest.
14. GIVE WHAT YOU WANT TO RECEIVE.
Don’t expect what you are not willing to give. Start
practicing the golden rule. If you want love, give love. If you
want friends, be friendly. If you want money, provide value. It
works. It really is this simple.
15. SAY WHAT YOU MEAN AND MEAN WHAT YOU
SAY.
Give the people in your life the information they need, rather
than expecting them to know the unknowable. Information is the grease
that keeps the engine of communication functioning. Start communicating
clearly. Don’t try to read other people’s minds, and don’t make other
people try to read yours. Most problems, big and small, within a family,
friendship, or business relationships, start with bad communication.
16. ALLOW OTHERS TO MAKE THEIR OWN
DECISIONS.
Do not judge others by your own past. They are living a
different life than you are. What might be good for one person may not be
good for another. What might be bad for one person might change another
person’s life for the better. Allow people to make their own mistakes and
their own decisions.
17. TALK A LITTLE LESS, AND LISTEN
MORE.
Less advice is often the best advice. People don’t need
lots of advice, they need a listening ear and some positive
reinforcement. What they want to know is often already somewhere inside
of them. They just need time to think, be and breathe, and continue to
explore the undirected journeys that will eventually help them find their
direction.
18. LEAVE PETTY ARGUMENTS ALONE.
Someone else doesn’t have to be wrong for you to be right.
There are many roads to what’s right. And most of the time it just
doesn’t matter that much.
19. IGNORE UNCONSTRUCTIVE, HURTFUL
COMMENTARY.
No one has the right to judge you. They might have heard
your stories, but they didn’t feel what you were going through. No matter
what you do, there will always be someone who thinks differently. So
concentrate on doing what you know in your heart is right. What most
people think and say about you isn’t all that important. What is
important is how you feel about yourself.
20. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOURSELF.
One of the most painful things in life is losing yourself in the
process of loving others too much, and forgetting that you are special
too. When was the last time someone told you that they loved you just the
way you are, and that what you think and how you feel matters? When was
the last time someone told you that you did a good job, or took you someplace,
simply because they know you feel happy when you’re there? When was the
last time that ‘someone’ was YOU?