“Dost
thou love life? Then do not squander time,
for
that’s the stuff life is made of.”
―Benjamin
Franklin
-
This morning I received a
thank you email from a reader named Hope. She said our blog and book
helped motivate her through an arduous recovery process following a serious car
accident last year. Although her entire story was both heartbreaking and
inspiring, this one line made me pause and think:
“The happiest moment of
my life is still that split-second a year ago when, as I laid crushed under a
2000 pound car, I realized my husband and 9-year-old boy were out of the
vehicle and absolutely OK.”
Dire moments like this
force us to acknowledge what’s truly important to us. In Hope’s case, it
was her husband and son. And in the remainder of her email, she talks
about how her family spends significantly more time together now, simply sharing
stories, telling jokes, and appreciating each other’s company. “The
accident made us realize how much time we had been wasting every day on things
that weren't important, which prevented us from spending quality time with each
other,” she said.
It’s hard to think about
a story like Hope’s and not ask yourself: “What do I need to stop wasting
time on?”
Here are some things to
consider, that I've been examining in my own life:
1.
Distractions that keep you from special moments with special people. – Pay
attention to the little things, because when you really miss someone you miss
the little things the most, like just laughing together. Go for long
walks. Indulge in great conversations. Count your mutual
blessings. Let go for a little while and just BE together.
2.
Compulsive busyness. – Schedule time every day to not be busy. Have
dedicated downtime – clear points in the day to reflect, rest, and
recharge. Don’t fool yourself; you’re not so busy that you can’t afford a
few minutes of sanity.
3.
Negative thinking about your current situation. –
Life is like a mirror; we get the best results when we smile. So talk
about your blessings more than you talk about your problems. Just because
you’re struggling doesn't mean you’re failing. Every great success
requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.
4. The
needless drama around you. – Be wise enough to walk away from the
nonsense around you. Focus on the positives, and soon the negatives will
be harder to see.
5. The
desire for everything you don’t have. – No, you won’t
always get exactly what you want, but remember this: There are lots of
people who will never have what you have right now. The things you take
for granted, someone else is praying for. Happiness never comes to those
who don’t appreciate what they already have.
6.
Comparing yourself to everyone else. – Social comparison
is the thief of happiness. You could spend a lifetime worrying about what
others have, but it wouldn't get you anything.
7.
Thinking about who you were or what you had in the past. –
You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week
ago. You’re always growing. Experiences don’t stop. That’s
life.
8.
Worrying about the mistakes you've made. –
It’s OK if you mess up; that’s how you get wiser. Give yourself a
break. Don’t give up. Great things take time, and you’re getting
there. Let your mistakes be your motivation, not your excuses.
Decide right now that negative experiences from your past won’t predict your
future.
9.
Worrying about what everyone thinks and says about you. –
Don’t take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do
people do things because of you; they do things because of them. You
honestly can’t change how people treat you or what they say about you.
All you can do is change how you react and who you choose to be around.
10.
Self-deception. – Your life will improve only when you take small chances.
And the first and most difficult chance you can take is to be honest with
yourself.
11. A
life path that doesn't feel right. – Life is to be
enjoyed, not endured. When you truly believe in what you’re doing, it
shows, and it pays. Success in life is for those who are excited about
where they are going. It’s about walking comfortably in your own shoes,
in the direction of YOUR dreams.
12.
Everyone else’s definition of success and happiness. –
You simply can’t base your idea of success and happiness on other people’s
opinions and expectations.
13.
Those who insist on using and manipulating you. –
What you allow is what will continue. Give as much as you can, but don’t
allow yourself to be used. Listen to others closely, but don’t lose your
own voice in the process.
14.
Trying to impress everyone. – One of the most freeing things we
learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone,
everyone doesn't have to like us, and that’s perfectly OK. No
matter how you live, someone will be disappointed. So just live your
truth and be sure YOU aren't the one who is disappointed in the end.
15. All
the fears holding you back. – Fear is a feeling, not a fact.
The best way to gain strength and self-confidence is to do what you’re afraid
to do. Dare to change and grow. In the end, there is only one thing
that makes a dream completely impossible to achieve: Lack of action based on
the fear of failure.
16.
Doubting and second-guessing yourself. – When in doubt just take
the next small step. Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction
ends up being the biggest step of your life.
17.
People who continuously dump on your dreams. – It’s better to be
lonely than allow negative people and their opinions derail you from your
destiny. Don’t let others crush your dreams. Do just once what they
say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their negativity again.
18.
Thinking the perfect time will come. – You can’t always wait
for the perfect moment. Sometimes you must dare to do it because life is
too short to wonder what could have been.
19.
Band-Aids and temporary fixes. – You can’t change
what you refuse to confront. You can’t find peace by avoiding
things. Deal with problems directly before they deal with your
happiness.
20.
Close-minded judgments. – Open your mind before you open your
mouth. Don’t hate what you don’t know. The mind is like a
parachute; it doesn't work when it’s closed.
21.
Other people’s mistakes and oversights. – Today, be
tolerant of people’s mistakes and oversights. Sometimes good people make
bad choices. It doesn't mean they’re bad; it simply
means they are human.
22.
Resentment. – Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness, nor
forgiveness for acceptance. It’s about knowing that resentment is not on
the path to happiness. Remember, you don’t forgive people because you’re
weak. You forgive them because you’re strong enough to know that people make
mistakes.
23. Any
hateful thoughts at all. – Set an example. Treat everyone
with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they
are nice, but because you are. Make kindness a daily ritual; it’s what
makes life happier and more fulfilling in the long run.
24.
Regrets of any kind. – You don’t have to be defined by the things you once did
or didn't do. Don’t let yourself be controlled by
regret. Maybe there’s something you could have done differently, or maybe
not. Either way, it’s merely something that has already happened.
Leave the unchangeable past behind you as you give yourself to the present
moment.
25.
Every point in time other than right now. – Don’t cry over
the past, it’s gone. Don’t stress too much about the future,
it hasn't arrived. Do your best to live NOW and make
this moment worth living.
Your turn…
Truth be told, the most
important decision you will ever make is what you do with the time that is
given to you. So let’s revisit the question I proposed in the
intro: What do you need to stop wasting time on?
Source : www.marcandangel.com