A father walks by his son’s room. He notices, with his
parental instincts, that something must be wrong. The room is spotless and even
the bed is made. Several alarms go off at once, especially when he sees a
letter on the pillow with the word “Dad” written on the envelope. Expecting the
worst, he opens the letter and begins reading it with trembling hands.
"Dear
Dad,
It is
with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope with my new
girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I've been
finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not
approve because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the
fact she's much older than I am.
But
it's not only the passion Dad; she's pregnant.
Stacy
said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a
stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
children.
Stacy
has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll
be growing it for ourselves and trading it with other people in the commune --
for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the
meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can
get better. She sure deserves it!
Don’t
worry, Dad. I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure
we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love,
Joshua
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Jason’s
house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
school report that’s on the kitchen table. Call when it’s safe for me to come
home!"
This son is clearly a veteran in breaking bad news to his
parents.
Share this teenager’s wicked idea. His parents are surely
grateful for his bad grades for the first time ever.