Stereotyping is a window through which the world seems less
complex. We use it as a reference point for how to relate to people. The
problem with pigeonholing is that it doesn’t reflect reality. Typecasting
ignores the wonderful fact that people are individuals. Labeling limits the
expansive possibilities of relationship. Many myths exist about men that women
mistakenly believe. Here we shine light on the shadows of misconceptions
regarding men.
MYTH #1 – Men
are unemotional. Though a man may not get misty while watching the movie
“Ghost,” it doesn’t mean he isn’t moved. From childhood, boys are taught that
showing emotion signals weakness. So they learn to wear a macho mask. They hide
their feelings and are less verbal than women. In fact, a word count study
showed that women say 25,000 words a day while men utter 12,000.
INSIGHT
#1
– A man may shift his emotions into an acceptable gear of expression. For
example, sports events are safe places where men give free rein to their
feelings. Players don’t hesitate to indulge in exuberant high-fives and hugs.
It isn’t that fellows are unfeeling. They’ve been trapped by
societal beliefs that it’s unmanly to openly hurt, cry, or mourn.
MYTH #2 – A
hot body is the main attraction in a woman.
Fox
News Magazine cites seven traits that guys find most
desirable:
• cheerfulness
• confidence
• femininity
• independence
• humor
• strength
• vulnerability
INSIGHT
#2
– A stable, happy woman is more important to a man than appearance.
MYTH #3 – Men
are incapable of commitment.
Although a man may be afraid to commit, it doesn’t mean he
can’t. There may be many reasons for his reticence:
• He may have unresolved pain from the past. If he’s a child
of divorce, he’s got emotional scars. If his heart has been broken, his wound
may still be raw.
• He’s uncomfortable taking a risk. There are no guarantees
a relationship will stand the course of time. He may be hesitant to invest
himself in the unknown.
• He may think commitment is equivalent to being trapped. He
may fear the emotional dependence that develops over time.
As further evidence of the capacity to commit, consider
research results by The Huffington Post. Market analysts polled 250,000 men
regarding dating,
communication, romance, and marriage. When asked if they
would cheat on their partner, 81 percent said they would never, even if they
could sidestep being caught.
INSIGHT
#3
– Men appreciate loyalty. They want to feel valued and loved. Once their fears
are understood, they can be addressed. A man whose anxieties have been resolved
won’t drag his feet on the path to the altar.
MYTH #4 – When
he falls asleep right after making love, it means the relationship isn’t
strong.
After lovemaking, a man’s body chemistry changes. Three
hormones are released that usher in sleep. Prolactin, oxytocin, and GABA all
trigger the need to conk out. For a woman, cuddling after coupling increases
the sense of intimacy. For a man, it requires effort to stay awake and snuggle.
INSIGHT
#4
– When a man immediately nods off after lovemaking, it means he’s happy and
satisfied.
MYTH #5 – Men
don’t like being asked on a date.
In the past, women who took the initiative to ask for a date
were seen as desperate. Men were charged with doing the hard part of making
first contact. Thankfully, dating etiquette has since evolved. Match.com has
released the results of its “Singles in America 2015″ survey. Polling 5,600
singles revealed that 90% of the guys were fine with being asked out.
INSIGHT
#5
– Members of both genders like being approached for a date. It’s a sign of
being admired. Fortunately, no one objects to that.
MYTH #6 – Men
aren’t as romantic as women.
The Romantic Beliefs Scale has dispelled this myth. This is
a measure of viewpoints regarding the nature of love. A study of 730 subjects
assessed four core beliefs about romance. The results showed that men were
generally more impassioned than women. Guys agreed with such statements as:
• There’s only one real love for me.
• True love is forever.
• I’m determined to make a relationship work, despite any
obstacles.
• I believe in love at first sight.
INSIGHT
#6 –
Men tend to believe that love is the most important consideration in choosing a
mate.
MYTH #7 – Men
are shallow.
In his book Backbone, David Wagner states that each man has
an inner life. It includes his dreams, hopes, passions, and aspirations. Clues
that reveal what’s close to a man’s heart are:
• work he enjoys
• hobbies
• talents
• preferred environments
• types of people he gravitates toward
INSIGHT
#7
– There’s a lot beneath the surface of that calm exterior.
MYTH #8 – Men
don’t need to talk about their feelings.
We’ve already nixed the myth that men don’t have feelings.
However, in addition to having emotions, men need to express them. Male bonding
occurs in the form of:
• barbershops
• barbecuing
• bowling nights
• fishing trips
• poker games
• building projects
• tinkering with cars
• working out at the gym
• watching sports
INSIGHT
#8
– It’s important to not begrudge men the time they spend with buddies. Men need
to bond as much as women.
A
BREATH OF FRESH AIR
To recap, let’s clear the air of the above-mentioned myths.
Acknowledging men for their positive traits, we can say they:
1. Have emotions.
2. Are more attracted by a woman’s personality than her
looks.
3. Enjoy being committed.
4. Fall asleep right after sex due to changes in body
chemistry.
5. Don’t think less of a woman when she initiates a date.
6. Are more romantic than women.
7. Have an inner life.
8. Need to express their feelings.
LOVABLE
MEN
Considering the above endearing qualities, we come to a
happy conclusion. Ladies, when it comes to men, you can’t help but to love
them!
Via :
Positivemed.com