As we’ve noticed by now, not everyone is a
delight to be around. This doesn’t make them a bad person necessarily; it just
means that they don’t necessarily serve as a healthy influence.
Even stating that someone is toxiccan be a bit harsh; however, if a person displays
behavior that has a negative impact on us in any way, itis unhealthy (toxic) for us. Quite
frankly, we shouldn’t have to subject ourselves to someone else’s toxicity.
Despite our tendency to want to give someone the benefit of the doubt, it’s not
mandatory that we do so.
WHAT ARE THE SIGNS OF A TOXIC
PERSON? WE’VE COME UP WITH 11…
SIGN #1: THEY’RE BAD LISTENERS
Something to address, quickly: it’s normal to
want to think of something to say while someone else is talking. After all,
nobody likes sounding “unsure” or “dumb”.
Two things: (1) trying to think of something to say when
another person is speaking is not effective (2) this is not what
makes somebody a bad listener.
A lack of acknowledgement, lack of response and just plain
disinterest is what makes someone a bad listener. Many times, they’ll just
continue talking about themselves anyways.
SIGN #2: THEY’RE ALWAYS THE
VICTIM
To them, any adverse situation is the result of someone
else’s actions. Have a break up? It’s always their evil partner. Came in late to work? Well, it’s the traffic (always
(despite nobody else seeing it). Flop on the exam? Well, the questions didn’t match the
study guide!
It doesn’t matter if they are at fault – they’ll never admit
it. These people have usually gotten so good at making up excuses that they’re
uttered semiconsciously.
SIGN #3: THEY’RE ALWAYS JUDGING
PEOPLE
Ever been somewhere and heard a toxic person make a rude
comment about someone in the room that they’ve never even met? It’s weird and
shocking at the same time – weird because it’s so out of nowhere and shocking
because 99% of people don’t do that.
But some toxic people will say they have the magical ability
to innately “feel” when something is wrong with someone else. Worse yet is when
they make a crack on someone else’s physical appearance.
SIGN #4: THEY’RE ATTENTION
SEEKERS
Then we have this group – the ones always needing attention.
The easiest way to detect this is in a conversation: they’re always interrupting,
dominating, and controlling.
They only time they’re happy in a conversation is when they
are turning it back onto themselves. They’re also the ones who always seem to
always find themselves in the middle the group picture while simultaneously
being the loudest one anywhere.
SIGN #5: THEY’RE DISRESPECTFUL OF
EVERYONE
It’s still shocking to people watch and witness how some
folks act. People still litter, graffiti property, cut people off in traffic,
don’t say “thank you” (always, always been a major pet peeve of this writer),
etc. These misguided, socially wretched behaviors are very disturbing.
(Anybody else ever wonder who raised these people?)
SIGN #6: THEY’RE CONSTANTLY
INTERRUPTING
Interrupting conversations, interrupting traffic,
interrupting with their phone; these folks are constantly in “me mode” and to
heck with anyone else that tries to get in their way. They’ve got better things
to do than display some empathy or patience.
In seriousness, this is really annoying. It’s human nature
to interject someone and apologize. It’s downright rude to be so self-centered
and clueless.
SIGN #7: THEY INFLATE THEIR OWN
EGO
Quick question: how do most people come to the conclusion
that someone is exceptional (as a person or at something)? Well, we simply
observe and come to the conclusion.
Michael Jordan never had to tell us he was a great
basketball player. Mother Theresa never had to tell us she was a loving, kind
person.
So, when we hear someone talk about how they’re great
without being asked and without merit, it’s (again) weird and shocking. Most
people are modest about their qualities, but toxic people are not “most
people.”
SIGN #8: THEY’RE PHYSICALLY OR
EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE
This goes without saying, but physically and/or emotionally
abusing another person or animal is an unconscionable and toxic act. Nothing
else really needs to be said on the subject, except that if we’re being abused
or know of another person or animal being abused that it should be reported to
authorities immediately.
SIGN #9: THEY CAN’T ADMIT THAT
THEY’RE WRONG
In other words, they always have to be right. No amount of
evidence to the contrary can sway a toxic person’s illogical conclusion that they are right.
Some people will go to the extreme of a loud, vocal argument
to “prove” they’re right. Mind you, there is nothing of substance that is being
said – they’re trying to “win” the debate on noise level alone.
Bottom line: not being able to admit that they’re wrong and not
being able to admit when someone is right are undesirable characteristics in a
person.
SIGN #10: THEY DON’T TAKE ANY
RESPONSIBILITY
A close cousin of #2 and #10, some people don’t take
responsibility for anything. Unfortunately, these people can’t see that their
own actions yielded an undesirable result.
As for examples, we see this when someone is arguing with an
authority figure – a cop, teacher, judge, etc. – and illogically pleading a
case without actually having a case. For rational folks, we simply see this
as a childish attempt to deflect responsibility from where it belongs.
SIGN #11: THEY’RE STILL
“CLIQUISH”
Ever seen the movie Clueless with Alicia Silverstone? If so, it’s
quickly apparent that Cher (Silverstone’s character) and their group look down
on pretty much everyone. Everyone else is dirty, badly dressed or otherwise
unworthy of their recognition.
There are still people
who act “as if” (get it?) it’s still high school. If someone else isn’t driving
the newest car, flashing the latest threads or populating the same
neighborhood, they’re simply not worth the time. Toxic people consider
themselves in another class that only a few, if anyone at all, deserve
admittance.
Source : Power Of Positivity